Ethical Termination – Madeline’s 6 Weeks of Piano Lessons

June 13, 2026 by Doogri Institute

I am Autistic Dr. Henny Kupferstein. For over a decade, I have taught piano to autistic students around the world. After publishing an evidence-based piano curriculum for autistic students, I agreed to coach a teacher in another state as she learned to apply the method with fidelity.

The teacher was working with an autistic child, here referred to as Madeline. The arrangement was not informal guesswork. The teacher was sending lesson videos, written notes, and questions. I was reviewing the lessons, giving structured feedback, and helping her interpret what was happening through the curriculum rather than through deficit-based assumptions about autism.

The first major concern: the teacher interpreted non-practice as non-learning

By the third lesson, the teacher reported that she felt she had done “almost everything wrong.” She said Madeline had not seemed interested in reviewing the prior week’s material, had moved into familiar patterns and sounds, and had run off near the end of the lesson. Importantly, the teacher also reported that Madeline had not practiced that week.

That was the pivotal fact. My response was to redirect the analysis away from the child’s presumed ability and toward the missing instructional condition: practice. I asked how we could support the parent in getting a practice routine going. I explained that if a student is not practicing by week three, there is a strong likelihood that the pattern will continue unless it is addressed immediately. I recommended visual timers so the student and family could see that practice was a short, manageable expectation.

I also advised the teacher to create a “free time” category at the end of the session, so the lesson structure could remain predictable without turning the whole lesson into free play. The core principle was explicit: no practice makes the lesson a waste of time for any student, autistic or otherwise, because the teacher is forced to teach the same material again. This was not an “autism problem.” This was a normal piano-instruction problem.

The practice barrier was environmental, not neurological

The email chain shows that the lack of practice was not caused by Madeline’s autism, lack of ability, lack of interest, or failure to absorb instruction. The teacher reported that Madeline had not practiced because her mother was away again due to an out-of-state family issue. The teacher noted that this was not normal for the family and that she had discussed the need for practice with the caregiver present.

Two weeks later, the teacher confirmed that the family had been going through “a rough couple of months” involving health problems and a death, and observed that this may have been the worst possible time for them to start piano. She reported that the mother expected to be home that month and would try to work on practice.

This is the critical ethical frame: Madeline was not failing. The instructional environment had collapsed around her. The adults in her life were dealing with serious family circumstances, including illness and death. Practice had become impossible or inconsistent for reasons outside the child’s control.

The child was still showing musicality and engagement

The evidence did not support a conclusion that Madeline was incapable of learning piano. In fact, the opposite appeared throughout the emails.

The teacher reported that Madeline arrived with interest, played familiar sounds and patterns, responded to musical material, sang “Do Re Mi” from The Sound of Music, and had taught herself part of that song. She also repeated the teacher’s language, such as “piano first then princess book,” showing that she was listening and processing.

I also identified that Madeline appeared to be a Gestalt Language Processor. I explained to the teacher that when Madeline repeated phrases such as “first princess then,” she was showing comprehension of the instruction and using language in a way consistent with gestalt processing. That mattered because the teacher could have misread the repetition as noncompliance or mere scripting, when it was actually communication.

So the case was never about a child who could not learn. It was about a child who could not be fairly evaluated because the required practice condition was absent.

The problem intensified when lessons became free engagement instead of instruction

By the fifth lesson, the teacher reported that Madeline was distracted by a princess book, lost attention when asked to use correct fingering, and seemed to prefer her own musical patterns. The teacher asked whether she should hide toys and books until free time and whether she was introducing fingering incorrectly.

I pointed out that there was good news and bad news.

The good news was that Madeline was still happy when she arrived. That meant she did not hate the teacher and was not traumatized by being there.

The bad news was that she was beginning to swat the teacher away and physically move her out of the way. I interpreted this as Madeline perceiving the session as her free time and experiencing the teacher’s instruction as an invasion of that space.

That is the ethical danger zone.

When a child comes to believe that piano lessons are free play, and the teacher then tries to reclaim the session for instruction, the child can become increasingly frustrated. The longer the adults continue without a practice routine and without clear instructional expectations, the more the child is led into a false arrangement.

The child thinks she is coming to the piano for one thing. The teacher thinks she is teaching another thing. The parent is paying for instruction. The curriculum is being judged against conditions it was never designed to survive.

That is where “musical babysitting” begins.

My three recommendations

All lessons are recorded for my review, and homework is logged into a tool that I designed for teachers who are interested in becoming a licensed developmental music educator® through my patented method. I gave the teacher three immediate recommendations:

Document timestamps in the spreadsheet to identify whether any productive instruction was occurring.
Problem-solve the lack of practice directly with the family.
Acquire and use a visual timer to control the session structure.

I also offered to practice with the family over Zoom three times, for about five minutes each, on three separate days, to help support the homework routine at home.

This was not a recommendation to discard the student. It was an attempt to preserve instruction by restoring the missing condition: practice.

The teacher attempted a temporary corrective plan

The teacher bought a visual timer and asked how to use it. She then communicated with Madeline’s mother. The plan was to continue lessons for two more sessions and then reevaluate. The mother expected to be home and planned to try to support practice.

The teacher then reported on the sixth lesson. She said the lesson went better than the prior one, but only for about ten minutes. She used a timer, attempted to preserve free time for the end, and continued trying to understand Madeline’s responses. She observed that Madeline did well when not being asked for specific fingering, but tuned out when correct fingering was introduced. She also noted that Madeline played her own material, including part of “Do Re Mi,” and showed interest in chords and patterns.

Again, these are not signs of incapacity. They are signs of a musical child without a reliable instructional bridge between lesson and home practice.

The final pause was the correct ethical outcome

On the day of the 7th lesson, the student’s session was cancelled because the area had received roughly 21 inches of snow and roads were not fully cleared. The teacher offered Zoom, but the family did not think Madeline would do well with that. The teacher stated that they would have one more lesson the following week, and if practice still was not happening, they would pause lessons.

Three days later, the teacher confirmed the final outcome: practice had not happened, and she and Madeline’s mother agreed to pause lessons for the moment. The teacher apologized that it had not worked out, thanked me for the feedback, and expressed hope that lessons could restart in a few months.

That was the right conclusion.

The pause was not because Makayla was autistic.
The pause was not because she lacked musical ability.
The pause was not because she failed to absorb the curriculum.
The pause was because the practice agreement could not be established during a family crisis.

Ethical conclusion

This case illustrates why ethical termination, or ethical pausing, is sometimes necessary for autistic students and non-autistic students alike.

A piano teacher cannot keep accepting money while knowing that the conditions for instruction do not exist. If there is no practice, the student cannot be fairly evaluated. The teacher ends up reteaching, entertaining, redirecting, and improvising around a missing home routine. That is not piano instruction. That is musical babysitting.

Musical babysitting leads the child to believe they are being taught, when in reality they are being occupied. It leads the family to believe progress is being pursued, when the essential agreement has broken down. It leads the teacher to misinterpret lack of practice as lack of ability. Worst of all, it risks teaching the autistic child that they are the problem.

Teachers must terminate or pause lessons as soon as a sustained pattern of non-practice becomes clear and cannot be corrected. This protects the student from a false story of failure.

The correct message is:

“Your child is capable of learning. Right now, the practice condition required for lessons is not possible. Continuing would not be fair to your child. Let’s pause and restart when the family situation allows practice to happen.”

That is ethical. That is honest. That protects the child. Anything else risks becoming paid musical babysitting on someone else’s dollar.

Become a Licensed Developmental Music Educator

Navigating the Role of an Independent Contractor in Special Education

October 7, 2024 by Doogri Institute

In the ever-evolving landscape of special education, many professionals are transitioning into roles as independent contractors. This shift is largely driven by budget constraints and political influences affecting public school funding for special services. As an independent contractor, you may gain more rights and flexibility compared to salaried employees, but you’re also bound by agency contracts and non-compete agreements. This dynamic can create a precarious employment situation, especially if your contract ends.

Educational Requirements and Challenges

Becoming a special education teacher requires a degree in elementary and special education, often supplemented by graduate certificates. The trend towards independent contracting has been exacerbated by unreliable budget allocations for special education, which fluctuate based on legislative opinions and priorities. Historically, funding has been influenced by public perceptions of special needs students.

Employment Dynamics and Litigation

Independent contractors are now often only employed when parents successfully litigate for their child’s educational needs. This has led to a denial-first approach in special education services, where consistent employment is no longer guaranteed. As a result, many educators are exploring private practice opportunities, where they can offer personalized support to families outside the constraints of agency contracts.

Opportunities in Research and Advocacy

For those interested in research and advocacy, collaborating on academic papers can establish you as a subject matter expert, providing a platform to influence policy and practice. Peer support models are emerging as a valuable alternative to traditional methods, offering non-competitive ways to empower autistic individuals and their families.

Resilience and Adaptation

Navigating this complex environment requires resilience and a willingness to adapt. By leveraging your unique insights and experiences, you can build a fulfilling career that not only meets your professional goals but also makes a meaningful impact on the lives of those you serve.

Problems Solved by Independent Contracting in Special Education

Increased Flexibility: Allows educators to manage their schedules and work environments more freely.
Professional Autonomy: Provides the ability to choose projects and focus areas without the constraints of traditional employment.
Diverse Opportunities: Opens doors to private practice and consultancy roles, expanding potential career paths.
Advocacy and Influence: Empowers educators to engage in research and advocacy, influencing policy and educational practices.
Personalized Education: Facilitates the provision of tailored educational services to meet individual student needs outside traditional frameworks.

This shift towards independent contracting in special education presents both challenges and opportunities, offering a path for educators to redefine their roles and impact in the field.

My Autistic Fractals in the 4th Dimension of Consciousness

October 29, 2019 by Doogri Institute

In UNIPAZ, Brasilia, I had the honor of presenting my lived experience to a class of transpersonal psychology students. In my presentation, I demonstrate how my eyes sees objects as conceptual fractals from within the 4th dimension of consciousness. You may notice some gaps in the talking. This video has been edited to remove the Portuguese translation provided in realtime by Alfredo.

English transcription of presentation at UNIPAZ, Brazil:

Being in the United States diagnosed as autistic, provided me a really nice fancy package to understand my differences. But the more I understood myself, the more I was witnessing the trauma of those who did not have the privilege of this identity. As you are going through transformation in your education, you are experiencing an evolution of your own identity. That is a privilege that you now have, because you can choose this process.

The autistic child is under identity threat all the time. They enter the world with genetic memory and skills that cannot be explained. I can explain it in language that is accessible to the mainstream. I made it my mission to become an academic student and to use theories of transpersonal psychology to explain what people cannot observe. When we say, “autistic people are deficient” in this, that, or that, we are using traditional metrics to put people into a box of comprehension.

Hypothetically, if my eyeballs work differently than your eyeballs, this is what the world looks like to me. I’m looking outside the window at the tree.

The nautilus is a mathematical shape. Where does it begin, and where does it end? So, just for aesthetic purposes, I will begin from the center, because I like my lines to be clean.

So this is the traditional nautilus shape that you see if you’re interested in this stuff. The more you stare at it, the more distortions begin to take shape. Perhaps in the first second that you looked at it, it appeared one dimensional. I believe that the brain has a 3-second time-lapse of perception, and after 3 seconds, you may start noticing a second dimension. So after three seconds, you may notice a 2-dimensional shape.

The moment you have a third dimension, it becomes obvious because you now have to have a negotiation in your brain, if the nautilus shape begins at the tip, or the center. This negotiation is your fourth dimension.

My eyes give me a perceptual sphere that begins in the 4th dimension, and then I have to do a negotiation to dissect the components. Here is my fourth dimension. My eyes see a grid on an axis, but I don’t see all of the boxes simultaneously.

Every three seconds, the boxes change—and I will show you.

So perhaps in the first three seconds, I receive A3, A4, C3. Inside A3, A4, C3, I have to make a picture-puzzle, which is this.

But I wait three seconds, and now I have this.

So, this might look like abstract art, but my work is very deep and very meaningful. Because not only do I have the privilege of doing these negotiations, I also have the privilege of taking every cube, and going into the fractal of its meaning. So although you see the nautilus as a potential fractal, I perceive my world primarily as existing perceptually in the negotiation space of creativity, where I can hold the multitudes simultaneously and it becomes irrelevant on that material dimension. I say material because that is my baseline, because that is my normal, and in that beautiful place, it becomes irrelevant to me whether the nautilus begins in the middle or at the end.

Therefore I challenge the traditional explanation of moving up or coming down, because I believe that autistic people have access to the potential of thoughts and concepts from the interstitial space, the space between the one and the one. It’s the space that is the beginning of everything in the future.

So if you’re asking an autistic child in the classroom to do reading comprehension and he says “oh look it’s a beautiful bird,” then in the United States we say “you’re stupid, you have to go to the special class” and we rob the child of the opportunity to gather information in a setting that is considered normal. So the autistic child learns to derive pleasure from the paranormal.

I call this the party in my head and I only share it with people that feel safe to me because my worldview exists of objects which are also fractals which are also fractals, and fractal objects that have infinite possibilities of perception. I can do that with observing children in a classroom and knowing immediately the depth and breadth of their existence. I can do this by reading multiple research papers and finding a connection. When I do data analysis it feels to me like a synthesis of deeply meaningful symbols.

Many researchers like to share their work but they don’t derive pleasure from doing the mundane mathematical work. So I want more people to be envious of the pleasurable experiences that I have and to eliminate the stigma of difference by recognizing that the child who has a revelation in his creativity, this is the child who is not having deficiencies that can be defined by the non-autistic person. It’s only the autistic child himself who can describe how he perceives his deficiencies.

The privilege I have with transpersonal psychology is to use scientific terms to provide meaning and to make meaning of my existence. But I don’t intend for my work or my research, I don’t intend to colonize the experience of other autistic people with my worldview. If there’s somebody who wants to identify with deficiency, I can accept that. if you want to say that you have a sister who suffers from lesbianism, that’s okay. If you want to say this is a person living with autism, that’s okay.

For me to have an identity to feel like something normal, I have to be allowed to say I am autistic. I have been able to feel like my experience is indigenous to me, so all my work that I do takes the position of liberating my experience from the medical pathology paradigm and moving through it, not up or down to it, so that other people can make meaning of my experience.

So I want to invite you as you are encountering people who are severely other than you, remember that they come at you from the fourth dimension and in your social encounter you have an opportunity to play creatively and create something new together. And that is called transcendence.

Thank you so much.

You may notice some gaps in the talking. This video has been edited to remove the Portuguese translation provided in realtime by Alfredo.

Why ABA Piano Students Struggle to Believe in Themselves, Despite Musical Gifts

July 27, 2017 by Henny Kupferstein, Ph.D.

I teach piano to non-verbal and autistic students every day. Most have perfect pitch and a very high degree of musical aptitude. Along with their diagnosis comes a trail of baggage from earlier teacher-student relationships. Students as young as five may display behaviors that can be interpreted as aggressive and harmful to themselves and others, behaviors that make them seem like they aren’t paying attention, or behaviors that make them appear as if they don’t understand the instructions of the task at hand. I experience ignorance and intolerance of sensory accommodations from ABA therapists and behaviorally-trained educators observing my piano lessons videos. Their focus is on the ABA-type treatment interventions. It is the majority and sadly not unusual.

VIDEO: Why ABA Piano Students Struggle to Believe in Themselves, Despite Musical Gifts

The distinct differences in the success of my students are directly linked to their early exposure to esteem-building teacher-student relationships, and whether ABA was a big part of their early intervention. It becomes apparent when a student has been exposed to ABA for more than 10% of their lifetime (e.g. 6 months for a five-year-old child). They become prompt dependent for minor tasks. They lose track of their inner awareness and become unable to take clues from their inside-body to self regulate. Dysregulations turn into complete brain-fry. These system shutdowns are neurological and not in their control anymore.

When a student is in a verbal loop, repeating the same word over and over, and their body is shaking, it becomes time to physically redirect the body into a different setting. I will advise the parent to turn their child on the piano bench so their back is to the piano. The loop instantly stops because he is now in a different environmental state. The student will automatically turn his body back to the piano, completely regulated, and ready to resume. It is a shame that we allow people to grow up with a mindset that they have to allow others to tell them how to function, how to be, what to work for, and when to take a break. We owe it to our students to teach them how to prevent overwhelm without physically prompting them into an environmental redirect. See this article for strategies: Teaching piano student to stim as overwhelm prevention

Stop Banning Autistic Stimming Because of Fidget Spinners

May 9, 2017 by Henny Kupferstein, Ph.D.

Are the new fidget spinners driving you crazy? Autistic stimming and fidget toys differ in purpose. An informed perspective offers an attitude shift for educators who want to become aware of the differences.

Fidgets are marketing as a toy to keep the fingers busy, specifically for a kid who has focusing issues. Focusing issues are consistent with a diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or ADHD. Focus-seeking fidgeting is a very different purpose than the need to stim in order to prevent sensory overwhelm. The two should not be confused. During sensory overload, an autistic person’s body will uncontrollably move in ways that will try to reboot their brain back to its original functional state. When you react to their reactions to their sensory world, you are irresponsibly causing more harm with your judgement.

Imagine you have a tuning wrench because you are piano technician. The wrench serves a very specific function, and you need your wrench to help keep pianos in tune for your educated clients. Piano teacher, Lili Koblentz in Colts Neck, New Jersey offers this analogy: Your friends see that you have a wrench. They think it is “cool” that you get to carry a tool with you everywhere. They want a wrench too, even though they don’t really need to tighten things as much as you do. Suddenly, you can find wrenches everywhere. Some are cheap, some are expensive, some are bright flashy colors, and some are more subdued colors. Your friends carry them everywhere and are constantly showing them off, and aren’t using them for their intended purpose.

Suddenly, no one is allowed to bring wrenches to class with them, because they are distracting people and keeping them from doing their work. You tell people that you need yours to do your work, because if the nuts and bolts around you are too loose, you won’t be able to do your work. You are told that your tool is just a toy, that you just need to focus on what you are doing and it’ll be easy to complete your work. Besides, when you had your wrench, you were such a distraction to everyone else—it was rude of you to keep your friends from learning.

You are now left with an angry client base, and hundreds of pianos that yowl like dying puppies and feverish kittens every time they are played. You can’t focus on your work because you’re too busy worrying about your livelihood and people’s judgement of your craft, and you aren’t allowed to fix anything because your tool is a toy to everyone else.

Discriminating against a person who legitimately needs a tool to function in their highest capacity is a human rights violation. Autistic people are gifted in many ways. Research showed that 97% of autistic people have perfect pitch¹, and sure enough, all of my piano students have it. I would want them to be as skilled in their trade as the piano tuner wants to be. I need to make sure they have all their tools when I am hired to teach them. Therefore, I recognize that the autistic body must constantly be in motion in order to concentrate best. Please rethink your attitudes before you judge a child or adult who reaches for a tool that makes them be more attentive to what you are teaching them.

Next, please read: Teaching piano student to stim as overwhelm prevention
Also, please make use of stimming resources page with directions for use.

Sources:

Kupferstein, H., & Walsh, B. J. (2016). Non-Verbal Paradigm for Assessing Individuals for Absolute Pitch. World Futures, 72(7-8), 390-405.

“The Right to an Education”, Article Typed by Non-Verbal Autistic Piano Student with Dyspraxia

September 26, 2016 by Henny Kupferstein, Ph.D.

NICOLAS JONCOUR

Article typed by Nicolas Joncour, Piano Student

[First appeared in ZOOM Autism Through Many Lenses magazine, Issue 9, p. 20]

A decent life in France is practically impossible for an autistic student, especially if you are nonverbal like me. In special schools there is no real education, and the psychiatric hospital remains the norm. As my mother encounters more and more difficulties to enroll me in a normal school, the only solution to an equal opportunity is maybe to leave France. I want to go to university to study the Holocaust as people with disabilities are still destined to horrific fates.

My hope is to study history and the Holocaust, a subject that has intrigued me for almost six years. Specifically, Operation T4, which is the eradication of the people with disabilities by the Nazis. Perhaps the Holocaust interests me because I feel the discrimination in relation to my disability. The eyes of others are like deportation camps without return for me.

Without my mother I would likely be in a psychiatric hospital. The right to education definitely remains the domain of utopia. The more I grow, the more I realize I do not have my place in society. I have to fight to deserve to dream. My disability, autism and dyspraxia, makes me look like a mentally-challenged person. People talk to me as if I am a small child, and they watch my gestures as if I am a monster.

The reality is that all their looks are like the slam of a cattle wagon door. My connections towards the victims of Operation T4 are very strong, and my reality joins their fatal destiny. I have faith that helps me, and God gives me so much love that I do not feel alone. I think I have the right to denounce my condition and my social discrimination as long as I would suffer of it. The right to a dignified life is my fight, and I recently joined the ENIL Youth Network to create change. Nonverbal autistic people demand recognition of their right to a real education.

My life would be rather simple if people would consider me as a person rather than a thing to eradicate. I want my intelligence to be recognized without having to meet the low expectations of people who doubt me. The peculiarity of my disability is that I understand very well what kind of people I have to deal with. The inability to defend myself makes me vulnerable to all attacks. Not being able to express oneself orally is a very hard way to live.

People do not consider my written prose without doubt. Not even my relatives who do not understand autism. To be recognized, mentalities must change, and the way we move, having no eye contact and no speech, shouldn’t exclude us from living a fulfilled life. For this to happen, we need the right to education, an education which mustn’t be negotiable and should be accessible to all.

Nicolas Joncour is a 16-year-old nonverbal autistic student who types. He lives in France and is homeschooled and in mainstream school for a few hours per week.

Follow him on Facebook and visit his blog.